things that make me wonder

So about two months ago I was hanging out with some friends at my favorite watering hole. A cute guy walked by and I turned to one of my friends and said I think he is soooo cute I would like to get to know him, so my friend who I thought was looking out for me turned, starting chatting with and got his name and information. I was told he was in a long term relationship, and was just constantly hanging out at the pub because his friends were there, that he was a really nice guy and thought I was cute but again in a relationship.

So,

Last night hanging out with friends again, same cute guy comes wondering by. I turn and smile, the friend who got his information leaves the group and gets with the guy, things that I noticed. THe guy touches my friends ass, grabs his arm, leans in with a kiss.

Then,

the guy walks away, my friend who had been doing party favors, drinking a bit obviously forgot about what had happend a while back came back in to the group, got up on me, kissed my neck and I said. Hey, that guy sure is cute, he tells me yeah, I met him a couple of months ago, got his number we were supposed to go out, but instead have been hanging out with him, so I listen intently, he moves again to do more party favors and another friend walks up who doesnt know that cute guy has had a thing fling with the one friend number 1.

Cute guy comes back around and this time gets the phone number of second friend, I smile and say, what was that all about, my friend is all happy, he said I have had a crush on cute guy for a while and just havent chatted with him before, not telling him of my secret crush I smile and wish him luck.

Here is my point,

The friend that said he was looking out for me, wasnt.
Instead the friend was looking out for himself, typical.
When the friend said trust me, I shouldnt have.

Kharma is a bitch because cute guy, turns out isnt interested in anyone who uses party favors.

And therefore, no telling what "my Friend" may have told him, there is no way in hell cute guy is going to go out with him.

So now, though I cant, a friend that I do care bunches for is going to get a piece of ass we would all want, and that makes me happy cause if I couldnt get it I would want someone who was sincere and honest to get it.

BOREDOM!

Have you ever had a job that was sooo boring, you would do anything to keep yourself busy, thus far I have programmed my phone, cleaned the cyber cafe, refilled my desk of supplies, chatted to everyone and got caught up on what everyone did last night. THIS SUCKS! I totally dislike not being able to be busy, when in retail there was never a dull moment! UGH!!!

Gotta run, looks like a possible client coming to the door.

bloody ankles

OI! I did a run this morning couldnt sleep got up at at the dark butt crack of dawn, and went for a run in the park, I have recently felt a little more plump than usual and had to go out of my way to ensure that the plumpness was put in check. Well I got up but didnt pay attention to what sox I had put on, This is the bitch of it all, well apparently about midway in to the run, jog, heave, almost pass out, walk a little and start running again my heels starting hurting, I turned to look at them and blood was pouring in to my shoes, yeah, well needless to say I had to walk the hill back to my house and then put dress shoes on on top of that, what a bitch, I have been walking bowl legged crazy all day long, a co-worker asked if I had gotten laid, only if!

UGH, your next walk, jog, run, heave and almost pass out, make sure that you have the right sox on.

Had a life style change I shot to hell

So, um, Dieting, well not exactly. You see Wednesday Night was our annual company summer party, well the staff here was told that its a big shin dig, nice dinner, lots of drinks, etc............... Notice the etc.............. Well that was total b.s. because when we got there it was finger food, in a hot and sweaty atmosphere with sodas poured from bottles and just wine and beer, I felt like I was back in my frat in College.

Well back to the lifestyle change, I cheated on my diet on Wednesday expecting this magnificent meal and party, only to be thouroughly and utterly disappointed. When I say cheated on my diet, boo, grrr, or what ever acronym you go by, I blew it big time with lunch and then after the dinner party. Ever since then I have been on a fuck this diet meal plan, where I have become a total glutonous pig.

Wish me luck, I return to the diet/ lifestyle change tommorrow, in the hopes of dropping a huge amount of weight before my b-day in October, this is a milestone b-day so I have to look good, right!

Peace and happiness!!!!

A work CRUSH!

So a new guy started today at work his name is RICH, uh, even if I have no chance in hell with him wow! You should see this guy, amazing! Let me tell you, 5'10" blonde hair, true blue eyes, a BUBBLE BUTT!!!!!!!! ugh! small tiny waist something a guy can grab hold of. OMG, gotta run working!

Life Style Change

DIEting, its about to kill me!!! AHHHHHHHH< UGH!!!!!!!!!ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!! sigh!

I have started the atkins diet its about to kill me, I originally lost 120 lbs on this diet, two years ago, I have about 50 lbs to go, and have started a new job that will allow me to diet the way I need too. RETAIL is NOT the best environment to start a new lifestyle change.

Needless to say I have been doing well on this life style change but its bland, not exciting at all and I cant drink until Sunday's when I am allowed one free day as long as I dont blow it in other areas of the diet.

Whew, I just had to mention it. again its about to kill me.

Peace

Hotter than Africa

So today, sitting at my desk minding my own buisness and a coworker comes in from and say "Whew, its HOTTER THAN AFRICA OUT THERE" LOL, what the heck does that mean, I say after I pick myself up from the perverbial floor, curious to know is it really hotter than Africa.

She laughs and says to me, hotter than hot! So I now have some new terminology,

My ex in California called me extensively this weekend, I miss Brandon, and will say this one thing. He is a true love! There are few people in life that I can say that about in fact I dont know if I have ever had a true love before him. I find myself at times just missing him, He is such a small tiny person but takes up a huge space when he is in a room, I really miss that about him. His life, his craziness, if anyone follows Astrology he is a true Taurus, in every sense of the word.

As of late I was seeing someone who I thought would turn in to a relationship, I dont know if thats possible now, I just hope we stay good friends, he is incredible. Maybe one day I will stumble across my next true love until then I am going to work on my relationship with God, work on my person, and be who I want to be. Life is funny how it works out.

Last night at burkhardts two friends from two totally different walks of life came in to each others existence. I had fun introducing them and can only hope the two of them can manage to start a relationship, they are both former drag queens, both versatile in every sense of the word and both have a strange sense of life and humor, Scary Joe and Matt with two T's, I will keep you all informed on this new love, Its hard for Joe to find anyone and the same for Matt, who is your typical Pisces!

I missed my fav. DJ last night, we normally hang out, get drunk make fun of the show and check out hotties as they walk by but no such luck last night, the show at burkhardts started off slow and hardly anyone there by the time I left at 10:45 there was a line at the door and people vying to get in and get a spot, I dont get that sometimes.

I must get back to work, but wanted to take a 10 min. and put some thoughts down, Brandon if you read this, I really do love you, but I have moved on, Rob if you read this, missed you last night drinking with Joe and the guys isnt the same without you, Scary Joe, if you read this, good luck with your big plans for this week and likewise with MATT.

Love you guys.

Mr. DJ Put a record on!

Yesterday on my hour long drive home I was texting my local DJ, was invited over for a swim, which was refreshing after spending 15 minutes on 285 and 85 then 45 minutes on Monroe Dr. in the heart of midtown. Midtown is a montage of crazy drivers, they literally drive me crazy, no pun intended. With that being said, the swim was great, I got to visit with two friends I rarely get to see and to relax a bit.

Afterward I coerced my fav. DJ for some good music, he caved and we played with the music for a good two hours producing two CD's unmixed but still with a wealth of golden oldies and brand newbies.

I grooved back to my house and then on my drive to the job this morning, what my DJ doesnt know is that EVERYONE who rides with me wants his music, they love his mixed CD's of various artists, truly they are great mixes! If you havent had a chance to check him out please do, you can find his work at www.djrobbieb.com with that being said, its time to move on to more work, The lease I thought I had has not come through, likewise the second lease I thought I had has not managed to be forthcoming either.

TGIF, on to the WEEKEND!

Peace
~Zach

Something is Missing.

I forgot to mention earlier that I feel as if I have had something missing from my life, a longing, like a thirst that needs to be quenched but only a nice tall glass of water will do and nothing else, but when you go to get the water your out of bottled water.

I am looking forward to church, I need to go, It just feels like something I need to do, my heart longs for it, I cant explain it.

I belong to a church on Peachtree street in midtown, St. Marks, it is an absolutely amazing church community, full of love, understanding, compassion, families, people from all walks of life and gay men! To look at the church outside, you would think it was a Catholic Church, but in reality its methodist.

From the first time I set a foot on the front steps, it felt like home a chill ran over me as I walked in, when I made it to my set I started to tear, my heart longed to have that rooted life in church.

I will keep you posted after Sunday.

Back it UP!

So this morning at work a co-worker began to tell me about her fiancee and how for valentines day she recieved some flowers from him, twice two dozen roses. So now, of the course the question for me is "girl, did you back it up for him?" We had a good laugh, I of course knew the answer, she had not she is a lady, not the lady chablis but a lady of ladies. After our laugh she did confirm though she did back it up after she recieved the flowers.

As I type this I ponder whether or not the general public may know what I mean by back it up, its slang for sex. I have for a very long time worked in an office or for a company with very diverse people mainly African American, so needless to say I have a ton of fun we laugh and joke all day long and they tell me how fun I am.

I think tonight I shall drag a friend out for a drink with me, we shall see. I have been wanting to see a local pub that I dont frequent but every know and then. The trick will be to get my friend to come out, not only is it a school night but this is the friend from the fiasco on Sunday night, will just have to see and go from there.

Gotta run, work calls. OI! pray to the saints for a lease. YIPPIE!!!

Long Summer Day

I got home late last night on a school night, go figure. My second week on the job and my company had a company dinner at Prime New York, my second time going there it was as fun as the first time. It had been a while since I had been but thank the saints that I didnt have to pay for a thing, it was on the company. With that being said I chowed down!!!

I hunted down a friend of which I owed an apology too. We talked things out, I heard how he felt and what was goin on with him and likewise he afforded me the same. We hugged and I told him how much I appreciated him. Life is too short for that kind of shit, so a new resolution is in store for me, nothing is worth hurting someone else over, no matter how wronged you feel you may have been treated. Talk it out, work through, hell have a drink on it but most of all dont sweat the small stuff.

I am at work, gotta run hopefully someone will come in today to lease.

Peace out.

Life can be such a Bitch but so can I.

Well, after much soul searching I have decided to put my feelings on here, it would seem that I need another way to vent without ripping someones head off or destroying someones feelings.

Here we go,

Recently I lost my job, now to the avg. joe that doesnt really mean a damn thing, it can be easy to pick something else up, my problem is I am too overqualified for some jobs, not qualified at all for some jobs and well there are some jobs I just dont want. After a lifetime in retail hell aka. Bath and Body works, I have left retail and started a new gig in property management, something that allows me to fine tune my customer service skills of which I am very proud of but also allows me to have some true earning potential. (earning potential) now that is where my stress begins, you see, I have spent my savings, cashed in my last little bit of stocks and am down to the dollar now, I purchased a little place in midtown Atlanta one to be near my friends, my lifestyle and most importantly retain my sanity from my family. That with your truck payment, college payments and your avg. every day bills, I have managed to royaly fuck myself over.

Its been hard lately, I miss my one true love of whom I know would be a travesty to get back with, my family is putting pressure on me * thats a story for another day * and now I have let my stress leak over in to my personal life and last night my one night to relax play and leave the world behind, I blew up one someone that is very dear to me.

Yes this is a long mother fucking blog, get over it!

You see, Sunday night at my fav. local pub is my get away, its where I have met a few people that I call friends, I have also met a few people that have turned out to be total nightmares, some one night stands, some two/three night stands and most importantly three failed dating relationships. When I come in to the bar I have a spot I like to call my own, I work hard to get it, and when I attain it my friends guard it for me when I need a potty break, or a much needed drink (to see this drag show a few drinks are required) so here is the punch line, a dear friend who is under a lot of stress himself, watched my spot, did a favor for the local light boy, and walked away from my spot, 2 shots, and five drinks later, I am a very vocal person, normally shy, timid, quiet, not when I drink, I am loud and boistrous, verbal, touchy feely, I love to grab ass when I drink, get the picture I am painting, needless to say, I let my past few bad weeks seep out in the moment and was a total fucking bitch to the one person who didnt need for me to be, the one person I take great strides to make sure that when I am with him its all about him.

He is been going through his own personal hell, and I sorta, well, in short was just a fucking bitch, and quite honestly I dont know if I can pull this one out of the shitter. I dont know if he will read this but if he does, know that I am very very sorry, in no way would I single someone out and just be a total diabolic bitch i.e. see the devil wears prada. It was that moment, when my anger hit top notch, after an already bad week and weekend, I let it slip, afterwards it was too late, the look on his face, I truly couldnt sleep last night I went to work on three hours of sleep.

Somehow, I will make it right, I offered to let him beat my ass but like a true friend he knew that would be pleasing to me :) Ok, enough with the foul language.

DJ Robbie B, know that I truly care greatly for you I made an ass out of myself, I know I did, its bothered me all day, and all last night, somehow I will make up for it, I havent figured that one out yet, but its coming, and coming soon, thats coming not cumming. just in case you were wondering. You know when you have wronged a person when the alcoholic state your in doesnt allow you the privelege of forgetting what you have done.

Turning a new leaf, the blog will take my wrath now. LOL look out blog.